I noticed lately that an increasing number of blogs no longer ask for your url, and sometimes don’t allow you to post your url within the comment to prevent spam. Which lead me to ponder, what is considered spam in a blog’s comments section? As far as I’m concerned, if twenty people have already commented variations of “Great Job” and “Love the Article”, all of whom leaving links to their website, then you might be getting into spam territory, even if they’re all heartfelt. And I realize now, looking around at the many design blogs I frequent, that comments sections are totally plagued with innumerable hordes of near pointless one-line comments, that I suspect people make just so they can leave a link to their website. I’m sure some of these comments come from genuine appreciation of the author, but probably just as many could be considered spam.

SEO experts are always talking about links being the most important thing, and interaction within the web community being the key to bringing traffic to your site, but people hear this and they always forget that any kind of interaction within the social web first and foremost needs to be sincere. And from what I see, scrolling the countless one-line comments on blog posts, a lot of people are missing the point of social media. It’s not about leaving a link, it’s about opening a dialogue.

Thinking Socially
If you met someone at a party, you wouldn’t introduce yourself then give them your business card and walk away. They would think you were a weirdo, or a jerk, who only cares about work and doesn’t want anything to do with people. In order to really get through to people, you have to get to know them a bit. And you never know what will come from those interactions: you might make a friend, you might learn something, you might educate someone. Whatever happens, in the end you’ve made a connection. Now, why should we behave any differently online?

Provoke Someone
A lot of times thinking socially means having the guts to make the first move. Who hasn’t had to introduce themselves at a party? It sucks, especially if you don’t have natural people skills, but once it’s done and you’re chatting with someone new it sure beats standing alone in the corner. The web can be much the same. Say for example, if you’re browsing through portfolios on Behance, or just scrolling through a blog or portfolio site, and you find someone with work similar to yours, or someone who’s work you really like, you should take the time to give good, well-thought, constructive criticism, not just the usual, “Wow, that looks really cool.” And don’t be afraid to point out shortcomings. If they’re an experienced designer, they’ve had a lifetime of hard-to-swallow criticism. Don’t go around being a jerk to people, but be honest, and above all, be helpful, maybe mention that their opinion is one you would value, and maybe they’ll take a moment to look at some of your work.

Read Critically
Often it’s easy to forget to actually think about what you’re reading. For young designers especially, it’s easy to just absorb everything without considering whether or not you agree with it. Disagreement is what sparks most great conversations. Disagreement is where you learn about your own beliefs and opinions, and it can often be where your own original ideas stem from. If you’re reading an article about why Flash is the worst thing on the web, you might want to ask yourself if you agree with the author’s sentiments. And if so, why? If not, why? And maybe consider writing your own article.

Feel Exposed
A big part of social media is putting your voice forward and joining the conversation. It’s very easy to passively read and absorb, make your comment, and leave your link, but to really gain the benefit of an interactive community you’ve got to expose yourself.

The best way to start forming your own opinions and sculpting your own views and ideas about design is to go out on a limb and throw your ideas into the open. Write an opinion-based article, post it on a few sites and see what the response is. Maybe a dozen guys tear you an new asshole and tell you you’re full of shit, but at least now you’re engaging an audience. If you just let your ideas fester internally they start to reinforce themselves without an opportunity to be critiqued. To form good ideas and get a true feel for the social landscape you need to absorb other people’s input. And if no one agrees with you, great! You’ve got a chance to reconsider your stance or argue your point. Either way, you’re getting somewhere.

Educate
When I was in school I had a teacher who turned me onto the idea that you should do what you can to help and educate your peers. If you know something, say you’re really good with Wordpress or Actionscript 3, then you should help people out. For me, that means spending an hour or two every week on Actionscript forums answering questions and maybe writing the odd tutorial. It’s just good karma. Plus, it feels good when you know you’ve helped someone out of a rut. I really can’t count the number of times I’ve sat in front of my computer banging my head over some seemingly simple piece of code that just won’t work.

Part of the reason we have the luxury of Googling almost any problem that arises is because the answer has almost always been answered at some point or another in one of those huge forums. Actionscript and Wordpress folks probably know this best: any time you Google a problem with code, probably 90% of the time you get a handful of answers from posts in a forum site. If you’re able, why not be a part of contributing to that vast chasm of knowledge.

Tweet Sincere
It seems to me that lot of people don’t grasp the idea of Twitter. A lot of people seem to use it purely for self promotion. Twitter, like any faucet of social media, is meant to be a communicative tool, and if you’re only communicating in one direction, then something’s broken.

A good example: I just moved to a new city, and when I got here I thought I should start following a few local design shops. So I follow Shop A and in the course of a minute they’ll blurt out 20 tweets about design and web related links, all just links from Smashing and other blogs. Then Shop B will blast 15 consecutive tweets about SEO and layout or whatever. And if you look at the history of their tweets, they never once reply to anyone or tweet to or about anything other than themselves. It’s clear that they’re only interested in using Twitter for self promotion, and taking up screen space on computers and phones. This isn’t morally wrong, but it is annoying when I want to see what everyone’s talking about and my entire Twitter page is taken up by this one company that’s set on bombarding us with their redundant tweets and logo. I expect more from the design community, if only a little sincerity. As a promotion tool, maybe it works for them, who knows, but they certainly aren’t making any friends.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t share a link that you’d like your friends to read (like this one, for example), but you shouldn’t use that as a poor excuse to regularly fill your followers updates page.

Ultimately, the way we behave in social media should be common sense. I think a lot of the insincerity you see on Twitter, Facebook, Behance, or the comments section of your favorite blog stems from self-centeredness, and people’s desire to be seen and known within their web community, without taking the time to really get to know any of the people around them. In other words, there’s a lot more taking than giving going on out there, and if you truly want to reap the benefits of social media you’re gonna have to learn to give a little.